Balancing the 3 M's

Let me first start by saying I am learning... constantly. I am learning the struggles of being a mom and how to balance the 3 M's of my life: marriage, motherhood and ministry. I felt like I had finally gotten into the groove of marriage then BAM... we go into full time ministry. Then I felt like I had grasped how to balance ministry and marriage well and then BAM... here are these 2 precious babies. It inevitably throws another M onto my plate. Motherhood. I do not have this balancing act mastered nor do I pretend to. Thankfully I do have several sweet friends that are a little further ahead of me in this game who have given great insight. I've also been encouraged to read a couple different books on this topic. (more about these on another post!)

Here's what I have learned thus far. And by "learned" I mean I know in my head. I try my best to flesh this out although it doesn't always happen as beautifully as I dream up.

What I am currently learning is first and foremost my day has to start with Jesus. Not social media, not the TV, not even my family. I have to be intentional about getting up early (not my favorite thing) before everyone else and allow myself to soak up God's word. This act allows me to start fresh. Before I'm pulled in different directions, asked a million questions, begun momma and household duties... I must stop and be quiet and surrender. I know this is shocking, but I CAN NOT DO IT ALL. I can't even do half of it. In my own strength, I fail miserably... everyday. I need God's grace and guidance. To be the wife and mom my family needs, I have to begin my day admitting this. And you know what? There is great freedom in doing so! The enemy would love nothing more than to feed my feelings of guilt and shame in the areas I know I fall short. I'm learning its ok because God's word tells me that His grace is sufficient for me. His power is made perfect in my weakness. (2 Cor. 12:9) 

Secondly, my relationship with D must come before my duties as Jude and Luke's mom. D is not demanding like my hungry little 6 month olds. He doesn't whimper when I leave the room or cry if he poops in his pants. Thankfully he doesn't poop in his pants because that'd be gross and then I'd make him do his own laundry...

Back to my point...

My babies need me. Their life is wrapped up in how I provide for them. Even though D is completely self sufficient, he needs me too. He needs me to be his biggest supporter, encourager, editor, listener, friend, but most importantly... his wife. I realize that as his wife this role encompasses all of those things and more, but on a more intimate level. He needs friends and others to encourage him as well, but the things I say and how I say them greatly effect him... for the good or bad.  I am learning that just like I have to be intentional with my time with the Lord, I must also be intentional with my time with Daniel. We must plan date nights, put the babies to bed at a certain time every night, talk throughout the day, etc. Having been together for 14 years, we know each other pretty well. We know what each other needs and we must be intentional about watching for the ques of stress, tiredness, burn out, etc. 

The role of momma is one I do not take lightly. I love these 2 little men that I get to take care of every day. They need me. And I like that. They need me to put down my phone and look at them... To talk to them, sing to them and play with them... without distractions. Is this always easy? No! There's laundry to fold, dishes to clean, texts to respond to, but Jude and Luke need me. They will only need me for so long. I'm told I'll blink and they'll be grown. I too must be intentional with the time I have with them. They sleep 10-12 hours a night and take 2 two hour naps a day plus light snoozing around dinner time. Leaving their awake time minimal and impressionable.

I never felt called to be a pastor's wife. I was called to be Daniel's wife. That meant I was going to support him if he was a garbage man or a pastor. In ministry there are a lot of demands. We have lots of opportunities to interact with people. As a people person, I love this, but its not always easy. Thankfully we are apart of a very loving church that makes ministry fun... its by no means perfect, but we love it. I have loved being apart of all the events, trips and weekly gatherings that D leads. I knew my role would change a bit once kids came along though. I expected that. I love my role as momma, but I did not anticipate the inner struggle of wanting to be 2 places at once. I want to be the one taking care of my babies but I also want to be able to hang out with our girls and ladies. Thankfully we do have family and friends who are more than willing to help out. I've just got to be more willing to let them. :) The involvement I do have with students and others at church, I'm learning I have to take full advantage of and make the most of my time with them. 

Do I have all of this figured out? Absolutely not. Every day is trial and error and some days more error than Id prefer. The only thing I know for sure is Jesus is enough. This balancing act forces me to depend solely on Him. On my own I fail. I do a mediocre job at best and get stressed which leads to great irritability that no one enjoys. This balancing act forces me to trust Him... trust that His plan is perfect. If I get that part right and begin my day with Him, the rest of my day may not be perfect but it's manageable because I'm not doing it alone. Balancing these 3 M's is hard. It's work. It takes time and effort, but it's absolutely worth it.