Balancing the 3 M's

Let me first start by saying I am learning... constantly. I am learning the struggles of being a mom and how to balance the 3 M's of my life: marriage, motherhood and ministry. I felt like I had finally gotten into the groove of marriage then BAM... we go into full time ministry. Then I felt like I had grasped how to balance ministry and marriage well and then BAM... here are these 2 precious babies. It inevitably throws another M onto my plate. Motherhood. I do not have this balancing act mastered nor do I pretend to. Thankfully I do have several sweet friends that are a little further ahead of me in this game who have given great insight. I've also been encouraged to read a couple different books on this topic. (more about these on another post!)

Here's what I have learned thus far. And by "learned" I mean I know in my head. I try my best to flesh this out although it doesn't always happen as beautifully as I dream up.

What I am currently learning is first and foremost my day has to start with Jesus. Not social media, not the TV, not even my family. I have to be intentional about getting up early (not my favorite thing) before everyone else and allow myself to soak up God's word. This act allows me to start fresh. Before I'm pulled in different directions, asked a million questions, begun momma and household duties... I must stop and be quiet and surrender. I know this is shocking, but I CAN NOT DO IT ALL. I can't even do half of it. In my own strength, I fail miserably... everyday. I need God's grace and guidance. To be the wife and mom my family needs, I have to begin my day admitting this. And you know what? There is great freedom in doing so! The enemy would love nothing more than to feed my feelings of guilt and shame in the areas I know I fall short. I'm learning its ok because God's word tells me that His grace is sufficient for me. His power is made perfect in my weakness. (2 Cor. 12:9) 

Secondly, my relationship with D must come before my duties as Jude and Luke's mom. D is not demanding like my hungry little 6 month olds. He doesn't whimper when I leave the room or cry if he poops in his pants. Thankfully he doesn't poop in his pants because that'd be gross and then I'd make him do his own laundry...

Back to my point...

My babies need me. Their life is wrapped up in how I provide for them. Even though D is completely self sufficient, he needs me too. He needs me to be his biggest supporter, encourager, editor, listener, friend, but most importantly... his wife. I realize that as his wife this role encompasses all of those things and more, but on a more intimate level. He needs friends and others to encourage him as well, but the things I say and how I say them greatly effect him... for the good or bad.  I am learning that just like I have to be intentional with my time with the Lord, I must also be intentional with my time with Daniel. We must plan date nights, put the babies to bed at a certain time every night, talk throughout the day, etc. Having been together for 14 years, we know each other pretty well. We know what each other needs and we must be intentional about watching for the ques of stress, tiredness, burn out, etc. 

The role of momma is one I do not take lightly. I love these 2 little men that I get to take care of every day. They need me. And I like that. They need me to put down my phone and look at them... To talk to them, sing to them and play with them... without distractions. Is this always easy? No! There's laundry to fold, dishes to clean, texts to respond to, but Jude and Luke need me. They will only need me for so long. I'm told I'll blink and they'll be grown. I too must be intentional with the time I have with them. They sleep 10-12 hours a night and take 2 two hour naps a day plus light snoozing around dinner time. Leaving their awake time minimal and impressionable.

I never felt called to be a pastor's wife. I was called to be Daniel's wife. That meant I was going to support him if he was a garbage man or a pastor. In ministry there are a lot of demands. We have lots of opportunities to interact with people. As a people person, I love this, but its not always easy. Thankfully we are apart of a very loving church that makes ministry fun... its by no means perfect, but we love it. I have loved being apart of all the events, trips and weekly gatherings that D leads. I knew my role would change a bit once kids came along though. I expected that. I love my role as momma, but I did not anticipate the inner struggle of wanting to be 2 places at once. I want to be the one taking care of my babies but I also want to be able to hang out with our girls and ladies. Thankfully we do have family and friends who are more than willing to help out. I've just got to be more willing to let them. :) The involvement I do have with students and others at church, I'm learning I have to take full advantage of and make the most of my time with them. 

Do I have all of this figured out? Absolutely not. Every day is trial and error and some days more error than Id prefer. The only thing I know for sure is Jesus is enough. This balancing act forces me to depend solely on Him. On my own I fail. I do a mediocre job at best and get stressed which leads to great irritability that no one enjoys. This balancing act forces me to trust Him... trust that His plan is perfect. If I get that part right and begin my day with Him, the rest of my day may not be perfect but it's manageable because I'm not doing it alone. Balancing these 3 M's is hard. It's work. It takes time and effort, but it's absolutely worth it. 

Jude and Luke 6 months

My babies are half a year old!

Life is very fun these days with our happy, rolly polly babies. They give us big open mouthed smiles and good belly laughs. They talk all the time and try to sing along with us. They do seem to even try to talk to one another in their own weird language. 

They drink 7 ounces of formula first thing in the morning and before bed.

They drink 6-7 ounces of breast milk every 3-4 hours.

They are currently eating a variety of rice cereal, avocados, sweet potatoes, and carrots. 

Sweet potatoes and carrots seem to be much more favored.

They love to fall asleep snuggling their lovies or their aidan and anias blankets.

They love to blow bubbles and grab their toes.

They love their jumping exersaucers... in fact it relaxes them so much that without fail one of them always poops while they are in it.

They are still easy babies, but when it comes to eating they are not very patient. When they are hungry they make sure you know it! 

Luke seems to be our more laid back baby while Jude is a little more high maintenance. He may even have a bit of a temper. When he gets mad, he arches his back and flails his body. 

Jude even had 2 bottom teeth pop through.

They are thankfully still great travelers.

They still love their mat.

Happy 1/2 birthday sweet boys!

Summer Camp 2014

The boys went on their first youth camp June 8-13. We always go to Centrifuge in Panama City, Florida. We talked last year when I was only 10 weeks pregnant about what camp would look like next year. Would I come? Would I bring the babies? Where would we stay? Well, It was definitely a different camp experience this year but thankfully it all worked out.

The boys and I stayed in a condo next door. We could literally walk to the camp. In the morning, our leaders would come to the condo for our own leader meeting/bible study while our students were in their own team bible studies. This was a great way for me to interact with the other leaders and hear about what was going on at camp.

Around lunch time the leaders would go next door for lunch and then throughout the week our afternoons consisted of ice cream runs, hanging on the beach, volleyball tournaments and nap times. I soon realized that the babies were totally indifferent about the beach so they went one afternoon but stayed inside for nap times the other days. Thankfully some of my sweet friends went as leaders so I had extra help and sweet volunteers to let me have some beach time and hang out time with students. 

While at camp d celebrated his 30th birthday so we made sure he felt extra special with an extra ice cream run and a surprise donut cake.

Camp was definitely a different experience because I had to be so hands off. I knew going into it that I was there to take care of babies and spend time with students when I could. I was prepared for the hard work of taking care of 2 babies by myself most of the time. I was not however prepared for the inner struggle of being torn between wanting to be taking care of my babies but also wanting to be hanging out with our girls at camp.

I would say this has been the hardest part of being a mom thus far: trying to balance ministry and motherhood. More of this on another post!

Though it was different, the week was a great one. We had fun, enjoyed the beautiful scenery, grew closer to the Lord and had one sweet girl give her life to Christ.

Camp is always fun. Having babies there, though it's more work, was a great addition.

Jude and Luke 5 months

May 18= 5 months

We are beginning to see lots of changes in these two. Not only are they looking less alike, they are on the edge of mobility, and "talking" all of the time.

Also...

They are wiggling all over the floor.

Lots of brother kicking, hitting, and yes even sucking on each other's toes, arms and head...

Lots of sweet smiles and laughs...

(impromtu photo shoot on a black futon at church)

First trip to Alabama...

Watching fireworks...

First time in the pool...

and they could have cared less. There was no emotion shown at all.

We introduced them to avocado... and they loved it despite these weird faces.

They also like rice cereal. We introduced that last month. They were very confused at first.

Jude had his first cold this month. It was pitiful.

Jude weighs 16.5lbs

Luke weighs 15.10lbs

By looking and feeling of, Jude seems to weigh much more.

Luke is now rolling over both ways and Jude is getting close.

They both "talk" all the time and have mastered blowing bubbles and their lips.

They also have discovered their toes.

They sleep from about 9:30pm-7:30am.

They smile and laugh very easily.

Both babies are pretty easy but Luke seems to be more laid back than Jude. 

These sweet things are just a couple of weeks from being half a year old. I can't believe it.