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Sinner saved by grace. Wife to a cute preacher. Momma to 2 precious baby boys. Blessed beyond measure. And I deserve none of it.

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Monday, January 13, 2014

Baby Scars

In preparing for the boys, we cleaned and organized basically the whole house, we got their nursery fixed and decorated to my liking, their clothes organized by sizes and hospital bags were packed. Though I was on bed rest for the last 3 months, I felt very prepared for the boys arrival.

What I was not prepared for was the post baby body. I haven't lived with my head in the sand. I know carrying a baby can do crazy things to your body. I also realize I just had twins a month ago, but as I shower and dress every day I'm reminded of the lengths my body had to go through to grow these boys. I know this sounds vain to even talk about but I know I'm not the only momma to have "baby scars." And I know you soon to be or one day to be mommas, if you're anything like me, want to know everything about this crazy process.

Every woman is going to carry her baby differently. Some will gain lots of weight. Some will hardly gain any. (I'll try not to hate those of you.)  Some will carry one baby. Some will carry multiples. In my case, carrying 2 babies at once didn't seem to be a big deal physically until about 30 weeks. That's when the stretch marks started. I had used different moisturizers the whole time anticipating the fact that those lovely stretch marks would indeed show up. I had heard mixed reviews. Some said you'll get stretch marks regardless and some said use cocoa butter, bio oil etc to help prevent. I have always used lotion everyday so I thought it couldn't hurt and I'm still glad I did... even though it didn't prevent the lovely stretch marks from gracing my hips and lower belly.

Stretch marks I was prepared for... the saggy skin not so much. I knew my belly had gotten big and that I had gained 60+ pounds, but I was not anticipating what I now know to be the "c-section sag." Yes, sagging skin that hangs ever so lovely around your c-section scar. I'm curently 5.5 weeks post pardom and my stomach still has a pooch and sagging skin.

Why did I share all of this might you ask?

Like I stated before, I wish someone would have been as frank to say GET READY FOR...(fill in the blank.) All I had ever heard was your body won't be the same after baby. Well duh to some degree, you just grew a human or 2 in there! I however thought just eat right, nurse and then once you get the ok from your doctor, workout. Ha! Who wants to eat healthy when sweet people are bringing meals of comfort food to you?! And who wants a healthy snack when you have choc chip cookies and delicious choc cake sitting on the counter?! And who wants to spend time working out when you could take a shower or a nap?! Though I do look forward to the challenge of losing these last 20lbs. I'm still enjoying my junk food and maternity pants. And oh maternity pants... how I love you!

I have gotten so off track from my point, but the honesty here just seems to be flowing. Back to stretch marks and flabby skin...

It seemed like in the same day I read a couple of different blog posts about how a baby changes you. Obviously they hit on the emotional side and the physical side of this sweet new life of being a mom. Thats what started me rethinking this baby body.

No, I do not have a six pack or anything close. No, I can not run a half marathon or even walk up my stairs without being winded. Yes, my arms jiggle when I wave. Yes, I have stretch marks that grace my belly. Yes, I have saggy skin. But you know what?

 I wouldn't trade it for the world.

These baby scars... my reminders... of what my body did for 9 months is a constant reminder of God's graciousness to me. He saw fit to give me 2 precious baby boys, that yes stretched my belly beyond what looked normal, but the joy that I get from being their mom makes every bit of it worth it.

One of the blogs (I wish I could remember what blogs they were so I could give them credit) really focused on how grateful we should be for our baby scars. I know it seems weird to be thankful for stretch marks and flabby skin, but when you think about the thousands of women struggling with infertility it definitely makes you ever so thankful for those seemingly ugly scars. Those women would give anything to have stretch marks and flabby skin because of what they represent... a baby. Life that they grew inside of them. Life that they delivered. Life that many have cried over and prayed for. If that doesn't make us thankful for our baby scars then I don't know what will.

So as I'm sitting here looking at my 2 sleeping baby boys I am thankful. I am thankful for my pooch that makes wearing normal clothes weird right now. I am thankful for my stetch marks that remind me every day that Jude and Luke grew inside of me. And I'm thankful for my c-section sag because that incision is how my boys were delivered. That moment of delivery when I heard them cry for the first time...I was thankful. I was thankful for the new life (lives) that God had given us. And so everyday I will choose to be thankful for my baby scars.

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