I hate goodbyes.

Last night was the night...our final night as youth minister and wife at FBCHW. I had prayed and prayed that God would prepare us for it because I knew it was going to be tough. I dreaded last night more than I care to admit because I hate goodbyes.

My goal last night... because I assumed I'd cry... was just to keep from going into complete ugly cry mode. I'm happy to say I succeeded. We had so many people praying for us. The best way to put it is I could feel it. I had such perfect peace. My heart still ached and I still hated to leave, but I had composure that I know wasn't my own. I took in every moment. As we hung out over the yummy food our leaders prepared, as we sat together while D spoke, as we played volleyball afterwards... I took it all in. These students. Our students. They captured our hearts. As crazy and loud as they are, as much sleep as they deprived us, as much teasing was made at our expense, as much money as we invested in them... they are ours and always will be. We may not see them often. We may not talk to them often. But those students, we will always love. We will cherish the moments that we had... and we had lots of them!

As we stood before them at the end of our service and said our final goodbyes I could smile not because I was happy to leave them but because I was so thankful to have gotten to know them. I was so thankful they shared their lives with us these past 3 1/2 years. We were immediately welcomed and loved in 2008 and that never changed... even with our announcement 2 weeks ago.

As we got into d's tahoe... the only 2 people left at church... he grabbed  my hand and we just sat there. He was quiet. I was quiet. We took in our last moments at FBCHW... and that's when I lost it. Not an ugly cry, not even a sobbing cry, but simply a goodbye cry. A cry that symbolized the closing of a wonderful chapter that you didn't want to end.

And as we pulled away, I couldn't help but thank the Lord for the precious time he allowed for us to serve at FBCHW.